Yesterday I went to visit the Oncologist for the first time since my Mastectomy surgery. When the Dr. called with my Oncotype test results I let them know that I was probably not interested in having chemotherapy. Although the Surgeons office sent at least one referral to their office, the Oncologist did not attempt to contact me. At my family physicians request I finally contacted them.
I was not surprised but disappointed at the reception I received at the Oncologists office. In speaking to him, he made it clear that he did not like that I had accepted to have the Oncotype test but did not follow through with chemotherapy. I understand that these are expensive tests used to determine the effectiveness of chemotherapy but it does not say anywhere that by accepting to have that test done that one is required to follow through with suggested therapies. In fact, it seems that it is a TOOL to help one decide what is most effective. While I didn't follow through, I don't feel like this was by any means a wasted test, the information is still informative is it not??
I was also disappointed that the Oncologist did not know anything about a local woman who treats cancer patients as a dietitian. He should have nother to fear as she does NOT advocate avoidance of traditional treatments, in fact she encourages patients to use diet as an adjuvant therapy. Diet in addition to chemo or radiation or whatever the Oncologist suggests. Jeanne Wallace is her name and she lives and works in North Logan just a couple of miles from the cancer center. Because her practice is online she works with and helps cancer patients all over the country. She also speaks at cancer conventions all over the country. How can the local "authority" on cancer treatment not know anything about her or her work?? It seems ludicrous to me. It is common treatment to ease the discomforts of chemotherapy with the modification of diet. And there are so many studies out there that validate the use of nutrients found in many foods in the actual treatment of cancer. Don't even get me started on the fact that NO ONE in the medical profession has even talked about diet or what I am doing or trying to do.
It was offensive to me, that while the Doctor used a kind tone of voice and acted like he would look into the use of vitamin D3 or Calcitrol in the treatment of breast cancer (he claimed to have never heard anything of the sort) his body language said something entirely different. An eye roll and a smirk made me feel like walking out the door. Once at home, I was able to pull up several references to vitamin D and breast cancer treatment by just typing it in on Google, and several more on youtube. Here are a couple links. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20156557 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee21LVO8T9A
It is odd that the Dr. is well aware of my hesitation to use pharmacology to treat my breast cancer and yet has nothing else to offer. I understand that his study focuses mainly on pharmacology but that is not his title it is "Oncologist" which would lead one to believe he studies or studied cancer cells in many different aspects and relationships not just the relationship with drugs. I have read that Oncologists receive money from drug companies for prescribing chemotherapy. I hoped our local guy did not buy into this scheme but now I wonder. Here is a link from a reputable source, the American Caner Society. How can anyone trust this kind of behavior in a potentially life/death situation for the patient?? http://csn.cancer.org/node/139409
After a discouraging and frustrating appointment I realize that I have to continue to trust God and the guidance he has given me. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with Him. I know He gave me the initial desire to forgo the chemotherapy treatment. Even after diagnosis I never imagined this would be the path I would take, but the guidance I have received from the Lord has been undeniable. I don't know what will happen. Even with faith that I am on the right path, that doesn't necessarily mean I won't still have struggles with this.
Which reminds me, yesterday the Oncologist asked how I came to the decision to not follow through with chemotherapy, and then brushed off my answer. I distinctly told him it was by faith that I made the decision and that I trust in Heavenly guidance. He repeated it back as a "gut" feeling. It was NOT just a gut feeling. I can accept his denial of a higher power but it is offensive to have my faith down graded to guts.
I know there I have a loving Father in Heaven who listens to my prayers and answers them. I have also experienced when the answer isn't what I would expect or necessarily want. Just last year when we lost our baby, I experienced a different outcome than I would have wanted. But I know He works in mysterious ways and that my "ways are not His ways." I trust in Him and know that while everything may not turn out just the way I want, I will by guided and watched over and even carried in all the difficult things I face. Jesus Christ is my friend, my brother and my Savior. I will follow Him.
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